It’s no secret: the first few weeks (and sometimes months) of a separation or divorce can feel like a never ending cycle of really, really bad days.Suddenly, everything is unknown. And, if you’re like me, crying becomes your new conversation starter.Is this really happening to me?What am I going to do now?Who am I supposed to be if I’m not with them?What about our dreams and plans?What am I supposed to tell the children?It would be brilliant if we had superpowers that allowed us to bypass this stage of aSEE DETAILS
When you held that tiny bundle in your arms for the first time, did you make a wish for your new baby’s future? Did you hope they’d be kind and fair? Did you gaze at your partner and imagine the happy home you’d make as a little family? I know I did.And what about now? Perhaps when you gaze at your little ones, you have some different things running through your mind: will they be okay with the split? And are they going to turn into the narcissist you’re separatingSEE DETAILS
If you’re reading this post, I’ll assume it’s not just out of curiosity. Instead, I’m guessing there’s a reason why you, your partner or both of you are jointly seeking a divorce.Perhaps there’s been an affair. Domestic violence. You fell out of love. You and your partner mutually agree the relationship needs to end for one reason or another. Or, one partner may be aspiring for more. If you’re at the start of this journey one of the many burning question may be ‘can this reason be consider as legal groundsSEE DETAILS
My biggest pain point at the start of this journey (besides the thought of not being able to see my kids every day, and grappling with the harsh reality of being all on my own now) was how to get started with the process of separation. In fact, I had absolutely no idea what should’ve been my first steps for divorce until I met with a lawyer a few weeks after our split.
I arrived at my lawyer’s office with an empty notepad, a pen and my purse stuffed in the side pocket of a baby bag (oh, and I was carrying my sleeping 4-months-old baby). I was trembling with fear. I was 110% underprepared and had never felt so vulnerable.
I sank down into the depths of a big armchair across from my law...
A major life change, like divorce, presents the perfect chance to clear out all the stuff that no longer serves or lights you up. Decluttering your life and freeing yourself of anything that doesn’t bring you joy can ease the ride. So, keep it simple. Let go of anything that feels like it’s weighing you down – physical stuff, people, memories, mindset – and, move forward invigorated, empowered and ready to embrace the new.
Engaging kids are in meaningful conversation when you’re face to face is tricky enough. When your kids are with their other parent, and you’re trying to chat to them over the phone it can be almost impossible. “How was your day?” is usually met with a one-word response “Good” or “OK”, and “What did you do?” with “Nothing” or “Not much”. Here are some tips that can help to take it a little further: 1 : LEARN Become a student of whatever it is your kids are interested in. Develop anSEE DETAILS
At Hello Mojo we’re often asked ‘SHOULD I go back to my former name?'. To help you better understand the ins and outs of this issue, and what to do if you'd like to change your name back after separation or divorce, we talked to Genevieve Dennis at Easy Name Change. Here is her advice.
If the countdown to Christmas is giving you chills, and every ad showing a happy family enjoying a celebratory lunch is making you well up… I get it. It’s the big moments in the year, like Christmas, that really make it hit home: things have changed. And, yes, when you’re thinking about not being a ‘whole’ family unit anymore, not enjoying your in-laws traditions, having to share your kids on Christmas day, it’s true that the idea of the most wonderful time of the year can feel anything but. Besides,SEE DETAILS
Self-identity and self-concept are largely developed through friends, family, values and simple day-to-day activities – all of which become incredibly intertwined in a long-term relationship. So when a relationship ends, the self-identity and self-concept that we have developed with our partners is suddenly pulled like a rug from beneath our feet. It leaves us feeling lost. We struggle to find out who we are, without them. This struggle for a new sense of self-identity without our partner is why we see many newly single people take drastic measures such asSEE DETAILS
You might have noticed something kind of strange: when your world falls apart… your body falls apart too. And usually, by the time your health has taken a hit – boom – it’s too late. You’ve got your legal representative. You’ve got your counsellor. You’ve got your accountant. You’ve got your support team. Maybe you’ve even got your settlement and custody agreements all sorted. But do you have your health? Without it, the rest isn’t going to matter much at all. What to do? In the first of this two-partSEE DETAILS
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, you guessed it: exactly the same applies when it comes to surviving a separation or divorce.As early as possible, you need to begin assembling an A-list support team (let’s call them your entourage) to help you break-down, break-through and then move on from your breakup! Now, if you’re already well on the way to legal separation or divorce but still feel isolated or alone – this blog’s for you too!What you need is a group of people who willSEE DETAILS
Facing a brand new year can bring up a whole bunch of emotions: relief, freedom, fear, sadness–and that’s even before we get started on resolutions. Oh, those pesky promises. When you’ve just gone through a split, it’s tempting to see the brand new shiny year as the time that everything changes. I know, I’ve been there. The first New Year after my marriage split, I only had one resolution: “This year isn’t going to be as bad as last year.” How could it have been?But by February, amid legal negotiations,SEE DETAILS
You’ve probably been hearing it since you were a kid getting into schoolyard spats: there are always two sides to a story. “Yes, mum,” you probably sighed. These days, older and wiser, we realise that mum was probably right all along. But, sorry mum, there’s actually a pretty big exception to this rule. And it has to do with your relationship and how it ended. That’s when YOUR side of the story is the ONLY story that really matters.Think about it: you’re newly separated, and you’ve got it worked out:SEE DETAILS
A few weeks ago, my ex arrived a tiny bit later than arranged for the handover of our kids. I was ready; watching the clock, waiting to turn that uninterrupted, magnesium-laced spa bath, red wine and book into my new reality. Bring. It. On. Then suddenly, just like that: I looked at my watch – he was late. I felt my body tense up. My frown line deepened. I was frustrated and angry, in an instant. I started shallow breathing as my heart raced. But wait, there’s more! Enter stageSEE DETAILS
In a perfect world, we’d all be peacefully tucked up in bed by 9.30pm, relaxed and ready to sleep a solid eight hours. Meanwhile, our perfect children would have happily trotted off to bed and drifted into happy dreams.Ha! If only we lived in that perfect world, right? If you’re anything like me, your evenings are filled with wrangling kids, getting stuff done after they’ve finally–after one more story, one more drink of water–gone to sleep and maybe even stealing a few moments to yourself before lights out. For me,SEE DETAILS
Guys, guys: do you know Garth Brooks’ hit song Unanswered Prayers? Bear with me here–this hasn’t turned into a music blog. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, jump on YouTube and listen carefully. Go on, turn it up.Because this song has a VERY powerful message.When you don’t get what you want in life, there’s a reason: it’s to get you to your destiny.When my marriage came crashing down, my heart and spirit crumbled along with it. I felt so alone and lost. But most of all, ISEE DETAILS
The other night, I cozied up with a glass of wine and watched that buzzed-about TV drama Big Little Lies starring (and produced by) the ever-inspiring Reese Witherspoon. OMG… it’s a must-watch! You’ll laugh, cry (a lot, and then some!) and will be completely distracted from your own woes as you become enthralled in the twisted story line.I saw myself in so many different moments throughout this series – in both the challenge and beauty of motherhood, the adversity of difficult relationships, those new beginnings and the steadfast friendships thatSEE DETAILS
There’s the ex: new hair cut looking sharp, a big old smile pasted on their face, phone pinging with Tinder notifications while the kids happily gaze up at them. Have they been working out? Then there’s you: bags under your eyes from another sleepless night and a mind that’s jumping between your bank balance and your break-up. What on God’s green earth is going on, you wonder. How do they have it all together, and so quickly?! The truth is, they probably don’t. And even if they do, I’m hereSEE DETAILS
“Oh, the places you’ll go! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!” – Dr. SeussReally? Great places, I hear you scoff.If you’re in the middle of a separation or divorce, or going through a really rocky patch, that Great Place you glimpsed on your wedding day probably looks like a not-so-great dump these days.Truth is: Dr Seuss did set our expectations for life pretty darn high! (Fairytales, rom-coms and Disney have something to answer for, too). So how do you move on when those expectations–forSEE DETAILS