How To Own Your Breakup
My name is Annie. I’m the founder of Hello Mojo and I’m a single mum.
This happy snap was taken five years ago while on an amazing family vacay in Krabi, Thailand in the lead up to the birth of my second child. Back then, I would never have guessed I’d end up here (well, I could have picked that my name would still be Annie, but the rest? Nope). I wasn’t expecting to go through a separation and divorce within months of this photo being taken, become a single mother and then happily talk about it to anyone who’d listen.
But going through a separation and divorce will do that. It will throw you in the flames and make you proud of the version that comes out of the fire stronger, tougher and more confident in your ability to withstand anything. It will make you grow into the armour you were meant to wear.
My separation and divorce took me on a journey of personal growth, soul searching and inspiration like no other (although, ahem, first there was the journey of Tim Tams, tears and long telephone calls to my besties). It brought the idea for Hello Mojo to life. And for that I am #grateful
When it comes to divorce, you’ve heard the (snoozeworthy) stats, right?
Around 40,000 people around the world get divorced each and every day. After the loss of a loved one, it’s the most stressful event that a person can encounter.
Although I don’t presume to know your situation, there’s one thing I do know: the better prepared you are, the more know-how and administration tools you have in your breakup arsenal, and the faster you take positive action to focus on you and your healing journey, the quicker you’ll come out on the other side. And yes, you will come out the other side, no matter how hopeless things might seem now.
It’s true: I don’t know your pain. But I can give you a little snippet of mine.
I learned my marriage was over as I was running around after my 23-month-old son while simultaneously nursing my three-month-old baby girl. Just like that, what should have been the happiest time of my life quickly became the lowest low possible.
This news set off a chain of events that rolled along at a scarily rapid pace: losing my husband, moving countries, learning how to be a solo parent to two children under two, saying goodbye to dear friends, saying hello to lawyers, tearing my hair out from extreme stress, aging at least a decade (or so it felt) and, worst of all, spending the early years of my children’s lives wrapped up in separation and divorce dramas instead of just enjoying them.
Crying became my new conversation starter.
At the time, I was living in a cloud of baby brain and was blissfully unaware that a breakup was even on the cards. I was completely unprepared for the process of separating from my husband. One thing I did know? I needed help.
(Looking back now, I really should have picked up on the tell-tale signs and seen it all coming. But Mr Hindsight is a story for another time!)
When I signed on with my lawyer, I was advised to maintain a journal of everything and anything to do with my marriage, separation and children. In other words, my entire life.
I remember thinking: where is the manual? Why is there no how-to guide? How can it be possible for one person to do this much documenting and have a life (or in my case, just hold it together as a sleep deprived mama)? So all-consuming was my new world of documenting.
Then there was the fear.
– What had I missed?
– Do I need to document that?
– Am I doing this right?
– What am I documenting for?
AND WHERE IS THE HOW-TO GUIDE?!
I went online for help but became bogged down in diaries of other’s heartbreak and random documenting instructions. Four years on, I wonder how different my journey might have been if I had a how-to guide handy.
I don’t just mean explaining that, ‘You’re going to cry a lot!’ (true) or ‘One minute you’ll love your ex and the next you’ll hate them—so don’t go sharing your every last thought with the world’ (also true).
The emotional stuff is one (super-important) thing. The other side of the coin is the practical stuff that you have to know to get through a breakup – the facts, the tools, the ‘What the heck do I do now?’ stuff.
And that’s why I was determined to find a way to make documenting this journey easier for everyone—for some good to come from the bad.
In other words, I decided to make the how-to guide that I wished I had: and that’s how Hello Mojo was born.
Hello Mojo gives you the tools and inspiration to streamline the entire process – start to finish. It automates all the soul-sucking documentation that’s boring but necessary, freeing you up to get on with your life, your healing process, and hell, anything other than paperwork.
I’m thrilled to announce that Hello Mojo’s app —the first of its kind—is NOW AVAILABLE to anyone going through a breakup, separation, divorce, co-parenting or is a victim of domestic abuse in Australia (iOS and Android users). In only a few short months, the app will be available for people in the USA and UK, too. We’ve designed the app so that subscribers to Hello Mojo don’t have to make the same mistakes that I did.
The app guides you step-by-step on how to get started. It documents essential information, communication and evidence as well as anything that you wish to have on record. It filters and reports on selected information to produce documents that aid in the preparation of legal applications – both at the start of your journey or at anytime in the future.
But I know, the end of a relationship is more than just documentation: along with the perspiration, you need some inspiration. Our blog and soon-to-be launched Hello Mojo Magazine will be the supportive back-up you need, with helpful advice on everything from your health to your wealth, plus inspiring pointers on how to embrace your new life. Empowering? You bet.
In the meantime, let me share one of my favourite quotes that got me through some really tough days:
“Strength comes from struggle. When you learn to see your struggles as opportunities to become stronger, better, wiser, then your thinking shifts from “I can’t do this” to “I must do this”.
– Toni Sorenson
Hello Mojo app is currently available on the App Store and Google Play in Australia. Download today!
You’re doing just fine. Take it one day at a time. And remember, be especially kind to yourself.
Founder | Hello Mojo